what an awful day.

my mother asked me to describe my ideal day in the future, and this is what came to mind for some reason

I wake up, alone because that's all I can imagine. The window is open the sun is out so I look out,
to cars and taxi cabs, street vendors and flower shops open; a passerby looks up- I greet him with a morning smile. I find my slippers and classic black coffee mug and make my way to the kitchen, vase full of fresh flowers from the street below. The coffee is dripping, timed perfectly
in time with the music seeping in from my bedroom set to waken me each morning. I glance around the apartment:brightly colored walls, beautiful art, and photos of good friends
that I know well. I have about another hour to get dressed so I take my time before leaving for work. And as my mother's blessing for me goes I am "one with the universe, I am happy within it and it is blessed by my existence."

Feminist Conceptions of the Christian Deity

Whereas the idea of a male-free society seems rather preposterous to most people in today’s society, it was a glorious ideal to be achieved by extreme feminist women such as Mary Daly. Daly started as a Roman Catholic nun, but after questioning the male authority system in the Roman Catholic church, left Christianity and became a post-Christian feminist, saying “When God is male, then the male is god.” Several people such as Daly and Carol A. Newsom see the Christian religion as dominated by patriarchal concepts. Support for their theory and the theories of other feminists who have studied the religion comes from the contemporary Church as well as the Bible. Newsom argues that the first nine chapters of the Book of Proverbs uphold a patriarchal society because they use the cultural voice of the father to teach the assumed male reader. To her, this book implies a man teaching his son resistance towards a strange, seductive woman. Another example to be found in the Bible that supports this theory of patriarchal Christianity is simply the substitution of the male Logos (Word) for the female Sophia in the gospel of John. Many women in today’s society such as Daly and other much less extreme feminists have been turned away from or are merely irritated by Christianity due to its patriarchal nature, but I believe that Christianity is within itself not suppressive of women and Yahweh is without gender.

In contrast, there are various references to the feminine aspects of Yahweh throughout the Bible. In Genesis 3:21 She is the seamstress, in Numbers 11:12 and Hosea 11 She is the nursing mother, in Deuteronomy 32:18 and Jeremiah 31:15-21 She is the mother giving birth, and in Psalms 22:9 She is the midwife. In Isaiah 46:3-4 Yahweh describes Her care for Israel’s well-being as that of a mother’s care for her baby. The most significant image of God is that of Sophia. Sophia was a prominent image during the time of Constantine and later during the 11^th and 13^th centuries in the East. The Roman Catholic church viewed Her as an image of Mary because the wisdom texts were read during the Marian feasts. However, most people in the Protestant Church today are completely unaware of the concept of Sophia. In the book of Proverbs, Sophia is Woman wisdom, the form in which Yahweh approaches people. She is described as an angry prophet, a gracious woman, delighting in humans, and having a particular role in creation. She states in Proverbs 8:35 “Whoever finds me finds life,” which is a bold statement able to be made only by Yahweh.

Sophia is also seen in the first nine chapters of Proverbs in which Solomon instructs his son about what he has learned during his own lifetime. He is teaching his son to not reject Sophia, but to follow Her advice. He is in a way praising wisdom for all the great things She will do for his son if he does not reject Her. In chapter four verses four through nine, Solomon tells his son what his own father taught him as a boy and says

"Lay hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands and you will live.

Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or swerve from them.

Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.

Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

Esteem her, and she will exalt you;
embrace her, and she will honor you.

She will set a garland of grace on your head
and present you with a crown of splendor."

He goes on to instruct his son to be faithful to his wife and respect and love her. He also talks about a woman’s seductive qualities, since he knows that is something that every man struggles with. He then further describes Wisdom and Her importance. Throughout this passage, I have found nothing that would imply that the religion is patriarchal. Rather, it is an account of a father teaching his son about life and the importance of accepting wisdom and being faithful in marriage, while making reference to the importance of listening to his son’s mother as well as to himself.

Also within the Bible, there are numerous examples of strong women in high positions among their people. Deborah, a prophetess discussed in the book of Judges, was leading Israel during a time of great oppression. In the book, the Israelites come to Deborah to ask her for guidance and upon the carrying out of her advice they succeed in battle. Another prominent woman who lived during and preceding the time of the exodus was Moses’ sister Miriam. Throughout her life she grew to develop into a prophetess and an ancient-day worship leader. Other strong women in the Bible include Rebekah wife of Isaac, Naomi and her daughter Ruth, Huldah the prophetess, and Queen Esther. Also, the woman described in Proverbs 31:10 is “worth far more than rubies.” She is a strong, hard-working woman, essential to the man and the household.

The coupling of the male and female aspects of Deity can be seen clearly in the prologue of the Gospel of John, in which the language of Sophia is used to describe the Word. According to an article on the wisdom of God by Leo Lefebure, “everything John says of the Logos could be said of Sophia except for the identification of the Logos as God.” He theorizes that the replacement of the masculine Logos with the feminine Sophia may be due to the gender of Jesus Christ or as a conformation to Hellenistic philosophy. The latter theory is supported by C. Geertz’s idea that religious tradition is reinterpreted in light of new cultural tradition and vice versa. This theory would also explain why most modern churches are mainly male-dominated: in a male-dominated society it is seemingly natural to conform religious traditions to be more patriarchal thus reinterpreting religious texts to back up these actions of conformation. Thus in spite of the patriarchal nature of today’s society, we find strong women in authoritative positions and a God without gender.

Hopi Indians and other Religions

The Hopi Indians, with their traditions, beliefs, and stories are the perfect illustration for the tension that exists in the relationship between people’s understanding of myth and history. John D. Loftin, in his article “A Hopi-Anglo Discourse on Myth and History” discusses this relationship and multiple aspects of the Hopi religion and how they conflict with Western society, as well as how they can work together. Within this article and within the Hopi religion, there are many ideas that correspond to ideas within other religions such as Christianity, Judaism, and Hinduism.

One such idea concerns changes within the Hopi tradition that follow changes within the surrounding Western culture. Loftin describes modern-day Hopi Indians as very well adjusted with Western society. They drive cars, enjoy shopping, attend school, and have all the necessities of modern engineering. However, the Hopi have not sacrificed their identity in that they continue to uphold many of their traditions and rituals. The Hopi have stayed true to their message and to their ancient mythical understandings of the world. This can be compared to changes within the contemporary Christian Church. In today’s society there is a lot of emphasis on music, technology, and entertainment. Thus, in an attempt to stay relevant to society, churches are beginning to expand their music programs- much of their worship music is becoming similar to something you would hear at a rock concert. They are incorporating videos, interviews, and movie clips into the sermons. Pastors are trying to make their presentations of the message more appealing to today’s youth and to keep their attention. All of these changes within the Hopi and the Christian religions are not to change the message, but rather how it is presented. They may be changing the package, but by no means are they changing the content.

The article describes an incident at a Hopi Symposium in 1980 in which the differing views of a Western Hopi scholar and a young Hopi Indian became quite visible. The scholar, Fred Eggan, was presenting facts about the obtaining of corn horticulture from Mexico by the Hopi when the Indian youth stood up to present the Hopi myth and ask Eggan if he was saying that the tradition is false. The young Hopi was raised to believe that his people had acquired the corn from the underworld, which Eggan counteracted by asking how corn could grow in such a dark place. The dialogue that went on between these two men is an example of differing worldviews causing strife between history and myth. How can one both confirm and refute such myths? The myth could of course be interpreted as referring to South America as the underworld, due to its geographic location, which has the opposite climate of North America- the world of the Hopi people. Thus myth and history can agree with each other in this interpretation. One can also interpret the myth as representing the Hopi’s closeness to mother earth and symbolizing the earth as the “origin, nature, and destiny” of the people. This interpretation is purely mythical and therefore in no way interferes with history.

In the same way, Judaism and Christianity both conflict with history on some levels, but their myths can exist together with history just as the two interpretations above allowed for peace within the relationship of Hopi myth and Western history. The scriptures of the Jewish religion, the Torah, describe the creation of the world, the fall of mankind, the exodus of their ancestors, and countless accounts of failure and restoration of the Jews. One of the stories within these texts is the story of Jonah and the whale. In this story, Jonah refuses to obey God when he asks Jonah to preach to the people of Nineveh and he runs away from God by taking a boat headed towards Tarshish. During the journey, God sends a whale to swallow Jonah, in which Jonah resides for three days until being spit out onto the land. Jonah then preaches to the people but has a bad attitude. Taken literally and historically, this story is just another item of skepticism within the Western world. Thus, the focus should not be on whether or not Jonah survived in the belly of a whale for three days but instead on the message behind the story. This message is one that shows “the love and forgiveness of God contrasted with the human failing of Jonah.” Therefore, just as the Hopi myth may not be meant to be taken historically, this myth within Judaism may simply be meant as a fable for learning.

However, the Hopi do not accept history as truth when it contradicts their myths. Just as myth is false when examined through the lens of history, the opposite is true as well. Myth and history must be put in two separate categories, they do not prove nor disprove each other. Both are true in relation to themselves and what they mean to the people that study them. Thus, when historical facts seem to make a Hopi myth false, the Hopi simply disregard history and put it into another category like one would separate abstract art from logic. It seems that a portrait of a person should look like the person, and not like a bull or a random array of colors. However, the artist paints the person how he sees the person, not how society tells him to see the person. An even more drastic comparison to this Hopi philosophy would be that of Hinduism. Hindus do not put much focus on their creation or where they come from, but rather on who they are now and what they do spiritually. The Hindus seem to completely disregard the Western idea of history and deem it unimportant and unworthy of bother.

Another point within the article concerns the coming of age within Hopi tradition. When the Hopi people are still children, they are taught many of the Hopi myths. They learn of a character known as the trickster, which is a coyote. Stories about this character as well as many other stories, such as the emergence myth, are taught to the children as literally true. When the children come of age, they are engaged in a ceremony during which the elders teach the children that the stories are not literally true, but instead are told to get across a message and to teach the children various lessons. They also make the distinction between tall tales, such as the coyote stories, and myths, such as the emergence story. During this ceremony the children are also taught that the Kachinas they have seen dancing are not gods, but instead they are the children’s own male relatives. It is during this ceremony that the children are introduced to critical thinking. In the same way, teachers of Christianity tell children old testament stories, such as the Jonah myth, to teach them lessons and introduce them to who God is. They also include such tall tales as the Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis, which are literally false but incorporate the gospel message of truth. However, Christians seem to rarely get beyond the literal state of thinking because there is not much focus on the abstract within many churches. There are, however, ceremonies celebrating the coming of age, such as confirmation, which is preceded by much teaching about the faith. Also, in Judaism, the coming of age is called the bar-mitzvah (or bat-mitzvah for girls) and this is preceded by much more education and training than a Christian confirmation. Children meet one-on-one with the rabbi and are expected to memorize parts of the Torah.

The Kachina dancers present another similarity between Christians and the Hopi. The dancers are actually elders within the tribe but are thought of as embodying the spiritual. Whereas children believe them to be gods, they are really more so presentational symbols like the Eucharist in Christianity. During the time of communion within Christianity, bread and wine are taken to remind Christians of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. The elements of bread and wine symbolize the flesh and blood of Christ, and although they are not the actual flesh and blood, it is thought that Christ is present with those engaging in communion during that time. Also, the Kachina dolls are thought to be simultaneously human and Kachina, profane and sacred. In the same way, Jesus Christ was declared by the council of Nicea in 325 AD as being fully God and fully man, two essences in one being.

There are many worthy comparisons, parallels, and similarities within many of today’s world religions. More specifically, the ideas within the Hopi religion correspond to many ideas within other religions, such as Judaism, Christianity, and Hinduism. Examples of such ideas include the westernization of religion without the sacrifice of message, the tension that exists between myth and history, the choice between taking something literally versus taking it figuratively, and the coming of age ritual within the religious tradition.

a brief essay on the development of christianity

Christianity developed as it did due to historical, political, and social circumstances. Major historical factors that contributed to the development of Christianity can be traced as far back as the Greek era when Alexander the Great was ruler. The history of the development of this religion leads all the way up to the birth of Jesus of Nazareth, where after Christianity began. During the early stages of Christianity as well as during the more recent years, there were many political and social influences which led to changes within the religion.

The history of the Jews leading up to the time of Jesus had a major impact on the development of Christianity. Alexander the Great conquered Jerusalem in 332 BCE and began a process of Hellenization, or the imposing of Greek culture and language. Soon after Antiochus IV took over and desecrated the temple and oppressed the Jews by building an alter to the Greek god Zeus between 175 and 164 BCE. The Macabees, a Jewish family, revolt successfully and being the Hasmonean dynasty to replace Greek rule between 134 and 63 BCE. During this time Apocalypticism develops which has a strong association with a belief in the coming of a messiah and a near end. The book of Daniel is written, which discusses the afterlife as a resurrection of the body rather than the survival of the soul. Also during this time, the Pharisees developed as well as the Sadducees. The Pharisees become important for Christianity because they believed in the resurrection of the dead and the coming of a messiah. Around 37 BCE and leading up to the birth of Christ, the Herodian Period was going on. Herod the Great was the ruler over the Jews, which he despised, despite his own Jewish heritage. Herod did however restore the temple for political reasons, but this left the Jewish people impoverished.

Around 4 BCE Jesus of Nazareth was born, bringing about a new religion: Christianity. Jesus’ teaching were apocalyptic in that he preached the nearness of the Kingdom of God. He taught, like well-know Pharisee Hillel, to love your neighbor as yourself. Jesus sacrificed himself for the people of the world, asking his disciples to follow example. He taught his followers servitude, to put themselves last, to love their enemies, to be morally straight and pure, and to put God above all else. After Jesus was killed by the Romans, the belief came about that He rose from the dead. This allowed many to believe He truly was the Son of God, and not just another failed messiah. This led Christians to reinterpret some of their beliefs, because Jesus had not brought about the Kingdom of God, nor radical peace, due to the wars still going on. Christians decided the radical peace was meant to be a spiritual inner peace and the Kingdom of God was in the hearts of Christians; and that the earthly aspect of the kingdom would be fulfilled upon His return.

During the time of the early church, Saul the Pharisee converted to Christianity, against which he had been leading persecution, and became Paul. Due to his Roman citizenship, Paul was able to travel the Mediterranean world as a missionary. He gave gentiles who found it too complicated to convert to Judaism a new option: Christianity. This also allowed them to receive baptism rather than circumcision, which was considered mutilation of the body by the Greeks and Romans. Paul established the difference between Judaism and Christianity by putting the focus on salvation, rather than adherence to the Jewish law.

Soon there was more persecution, this time for the Christians. They were accused of cannibalism, due to the claim during communion that the wine and bread are the blood and flesh of Jesus Christ. Christians were forced to reinterpret some of their beliefs again, because many of the people that lived during Jesus’ time were dying and he had not yet returned. They decided Jesus’ return would happen in the future and they must wait for that time. There were also a lot of social changes brought about, such as the marriage of church leaders. These changes took place in order for Christianity to be more widely accepted. Then in 70 ACE the temple was destroyed by the Romans, which led to the writing of the Gospels. This brought about a lot of tension between the Christians and the Jews, thus the Pharisees are talked about in a very negative light in the gospels. After the destruction of the temple, the only remaining Jews were the Pharisees. This was because the Sadducees’ sole place of worship had been destroyed and the Essenes had died out in a war they caused.

There were quite a few advances in Christianity during the fourth century. Emperor Constantine signed the Edict of Milan in 313 ACE, which ended the persecution of Christians. Then in 324 he declared Christianity a legally recognized state religion, in order to bring about political unity. This was good for the Christian because it brought an end to persecution of the Church and it allowed Christianity to expand. However, it also led to a mix of church and state, which in later years led to scandals. Also in the fourth century, the New Testament cannon was developed and accepted. The Septuagint became the Old Testament with the Apocrypha. Ecumenical Councils were set up in order to develop the doctrine of the Trinity and the doctrine of Christ. They primarily focused on concluding on what Christianity is not. The decisions made in these councils are still widely accepted in church beliefs today.

During the eleventh century there was a split between the eastern and western churches. This was due mainly because of differences of opinion on the use of Latin for worship, the celibacy of clergy, the use of icons, and the supremacy of the pope. Soon after the split, there was a major crusade by the Catholics in which many Eastern Orthodox Christians were slaughtered. In 1550 the textus receptus was written by Stephanus and humanist Erasmus, which became the basis for the King James Version of the Bible. Also during this century Martin Luther and John Calvin brought about a radical split from the Catholic Church: Protestantism. The belief was that salvation is not through works but through faith alone and that the Bible was to be the solitary authority on matters of faith, as opposed to the Bible and church tradition. The Bible was also made open to the public through translations into vernacular and the use of the printing press.

Shortly following this major split in Christianity, several other splits were approaching. Out of the Protestants came the Anabaptists and the Anglicans, the hippies of the reformation and the Anglo-Catholics. Anabaptists threw out infant baptism, made church membership voluntary, and rejected a state church. They were pacifists, very communal, and ignorant of established governments. The Anglicans however maintained many Catholic traditions. Since this split in Christianity, many other splits have followed thus leading to thousands of new denominations worldwide. Christianity has become the largest world religion with missionaries all over the globe. Thus, the development of this religion known as Christianity was brought about through historical, political, and social means.

from years back...

God, You’re not all I need.
You never have been, I don’t even know you.
I want to use all my passions to discover the mystery of You
but Apathy is greater,
and my upbringing has turned mystery into an imaginary relationship
with suburban ideals and a lost sense of reality.
How could you possibly
be everything to me,
be the fucking air I breathe-
determine my morals?
Martin Luther,
and Billy Graham with your mistress, was it?
And, Paul, you radical little cowboy.
Some of the greatest revolutionaries:
far from grace
perhaps a little mixed up in the head.
Only Jesus,
You’re the only sane one.
And you, reader,
you judge me with your bloody righteousness
that you use to hide who you really are;
Or who, maybe, you should be.
Think on that, then think on your ignorance,
Then get back to me.
Maybe you can save me then.

i need to be healed of this.
God, i don't want to but i know it's needed.
anger is just so much more filling.

and i need to stop being sorry.
my anger towards certain people may in part be my fault for expecting them to come to me, but it's mostly because those expectations were based on lies they had told me like that they care or that they want to see me.
and i am trusting so i get hurt.
and then i get angry because every time i try to reconcile with those people i just end up apologizing for nothing because i know they do so much good and i don't want to bring them down because then they'll hate me or see me as the negative person in their life and love everyone else more.
but now that i don't have any relationships with them anymore anyway i need to tell them and not care about what they think of me. but i need to forgive them first oh God how do i do that!