Sunday, May 6, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
i see now why people hate to use "depression" as an excuse.
because no one really cares and no one really believes them
and they say, that's so sad, you must want attention.
well, maybe attention is just something they've been deprived of for far too long
and support, and encouragement, and love.
and their only source of this is gone every week
and they're scared of becoming dependent
and they're scared of ruining the relationship.
they're shifty, and not by choice.
but because they've learned to live for what they can,
and to forget their past.
always tired, they can never get enough sleep.
and when it hurts too much inside, they try to balance the pain
by hurting their outsides
or by hurting the only people who really do care
through means of sarcasm and passive aggression.
they're ruining their relationships.
even those that are not closest, they neglect.
they don't have the energy to make these people happy.
they hate happy.
because no one really cares and no one really believes them
and they say, that's so sad, you must want attention.
well, maybe attention is just something they've been deprived of for far too long
and support, and encouragement, and love.
and their only source of this is gone every week
and they're scared of becoming dependent
and they're scared of ruining the relationship.
they're shifty, and not by choice.
but because they've learned to live for what they can,
and to forget their past.
always tired, they can never get enough sleep.
and when it hurts too much inside, they try to balance the pain
by hurting their outsides
or by hurting the only people who really do care
through means of sarcasm and passive aggression.
they're ruining their relationships.
even those that are not closest, they neglect.
they don't have the energy to make these people happy.
they hate happy.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
i need to get the hell out of this town, stat.
but to a better place this time please.
the politics are killing me
and the past won't leave me alone
i'm sick
"...listen to how good my life is and how good god is and how awesome of a christian i am and love me with everything you are so i can kill you."
and i'm tired of your praise songs and your joy, stop faking it!
there's no need for that.
this world is hurting so why do we sing about how happy we are?
are we mocking? is that what we as followers of jesus are doing?
and all the while i sit here judging you in tears.
why am i so full of hate?
and all i can do is hate the hate itself.
i'm sorry. i'm so sorry.
but to a better place this time please.
the politics are killing me
and the past won't leave me alone
i'm sick
"...listen to how good my life is and how good god is and how awesome of a christian i am and love me with everything you are so i can kill you."
and i'm tired of your praise songs and your joy, stop faking it!
there's no need for that.
this world is hurting so why do we sing about how happy we are?
are we mocking? is that what we as followers of jesus are doing?
and all the while i sit here judging you in tears.
why am i so full of hate?
and all i can do is hate the hate itself.
i'm sorry. i'm so sorry.
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
the Global Fund and PEPFAR announced they’ve more than doubled the number of people receiving AIDS treatment since the last AIDS day!
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1562960-1,00.html
"It's hard to believe that these photos are of the same little boy. When 8-year-old Bokang Rakabaele arrived at the new pediatric-AIDS clinic in Maseru, the capital city of Lesotho, in May, he weighed less than 20 lbs. and was suffering from AIDS, pneumonia and tuberculosis. Today he's 18 lbs. heavier, his shy smile has returned, and he plays once again with other kids in the neighborhood. When I visited the clinic in August, Bokang was already on the mend. He was asked through an interpreter why he thought he was feeling so much better, and replied very simply, 'It's the medicine.' "
"It's hard to believe that these photos are of the same little boy. When 8-year-old Bokang Rakabaele arrived at the new pediatric-AIDS clinic in Maseru, the capital city of Lesotho, in May, he weighed less than 20 lbs. and was suffering from AIDS, pneumonia and tuberculosis. Today he's 18 lbs. heavier, his shy smile has returned, and he plays once again with other kids in the neighborhood. When I visited the clinic in August, Bokang was already on the mend. He was asked through an interpreter why he thought he was feeling so much better, and replied very simply, 'It's the medicine.' "
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Concerning my doubts about ministry due to my dependencies on the support of certain persons.
galatians 1...
10Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
15But when God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace, was pleased 16to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not consult any man, 17nor did I go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went immediately into Arabia and later returned to Damascus.
When God called Paul into ministry, he was not held back by the thoughts, opinions, or apathies of those he may have usually consulted for advice or those whose opinions he respected, but instead he cared only for the opinion of his God- this was and is the only opinion that matters. Of course, we oftentimes seek the opinion of such people for confirmation, but who are they and who are we to say that we know the criteria our God has for those He calls? Only He knows our hearts and even though we may not think ourselves smart enough, or passionate enough, or even good enough, we do not know what He has planned for us- and if we follow this call we are in His hands and He will shape us.
ps if you're reading this it's probably not about you.
10Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
15But when God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace, was pleased 16to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not consult any man, 17nor did I go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went immediately into Arabia and later returned to Damascus.
When God called Paul into ministry, he was not held back by the thoughts, opinions, or apathies of those he may have usually consulted for advice or those whose opinions he respected, but instead he cared only for the opinion of his God- this was and is the only opinion that matters. Of course, we oftentimes seek the opinion of such people for confirmation, but who are they and who are we to say that we know the criteria our God has for those He calls? Only He knows our hearts and even though we may not think ourselves smart enough, or passionate enough, or even good enough, we do not know what He has planned for us- and if we follow this call we are in His hands and He will shape us.
ps if you're reading this it's probably not about you.
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